What I’m Watching Right Now (TV Recap)

Hey Babes!

I was raised by a television and my soul has been nurtured by BRAVO and Andy Cohen. Anyway, I love reality television and today I am recapping the shows I’ve been watching lately and of course I will be delivering some piping hot takes.

Real Housewives of Orange County

The majority of this season served as background noise for me while I scrolled on my phone. I have always loved Fancy Pants / Fancy Spice Heather Dubrow and I was so excited for her return, but this season was pretty lackluster for me. But, to be clear I don’t blame Heather Dubrow, Shannon Storms Beador or Noella. 

I’m invested in Emily and Shane’s marriage, but Emily is a major pot stirrer and every franchise needs one. I don’t like Gina, I’m uninterested in her skincare line and while she seems to be thriving, I can’t bring myself to care. Does she look the best she ever has? Yes. But, that doesn’t mean she is good TV. Bye. Dr. Jen is a one season wonder and Noella is wildly unhinged and her energy feels eerily similar to Kelly Killoren Bensimon and Mary Cosby. I think this season was a step in the right direction, but I think another casting shakeup is in order. Bring back Tamra Judge! 

The Kardashians on Hulu

I’ve only seen one episode of The Kardashians on Hulu, but I love it so far. I feel like I’m back with old friends whom I’ve really missed. Pregnant Kylie is such a cutie and I love that Kim knew she was having a boy by the way she looked. I fucking loathe Tristan Thompson and while I understand that he is co-parenting with Khloe, I just really hate him and want to punch him in the throat. It’s that simple. 

If you have ever questioned the authenticity of  Kourtney and Travis’ relationship, I recommend watching them interact on the show because they are on the same vibrational wave length. It just makes sense. I love Kim and I think that this version of the show really portrays a different side to her. She seems more free, lighter and in control. Also, I LOVE that they showed their orders at the restaurant, because that is one of my favorite aspects of any reality show. 

The Real Housewives of New Jersey 

Okay, so before I begin my deep dive, I should note that I am on Team Teresa / Jennifer. But, I am not a solider and I can admit when both are wrong. 

Jackie - I only want the best for Jackie and I admire the courage and strength it takes to discuss something so personal as an ED on National Television. I loved the scene where she gets ice cream with her kids because I know now how difficult that was for her.

Dolores- I’ll start by saying that I root for Dolor, Frank and the kids. I love their family and I always smile during their scenes. I also, hope that Valerie is in good health. Now, aside from her family what is Dolores bringing? A home renovation, again? I don’t know, if I weren’t invested in her family, I would say it’s time for her to go. I’m curious to see what happens at the reunion. 

Melissa- Demote her to a friend and move on. She hasn’t had an actual storyline in years. If she wants to stay on the show, she has to start fucking talking about the real shit going on. Like Envy selling knock off Chanel bags, Joe posting pictures on his Instagram claiming he flipped a home that he didn’t. Why they really moved! 

Traci- I’ve got nothing for ya. She’s just kind of there. Meh. 

Jennifer - I love Jen and if you don’t think that she is a top tier housewife, then we aren’t on the same page. She has given us EVERYTHING and now she is being open and honest about something that is incredibly painful for her. I think Bill needs a good fucking shake. Repent for your sins motherfucker. She’s an icon. A legend. 

Marge- I have never been a huge Marge fan, but this season sealed her fate and cemented her as a villain. I need to speak to a producer, because this Marge and Jennifer feud has go on for years and Marge is not an innocent bystander in all of this. Did she not start the fight with the mail-order bride comment? But, I digress. 

Marge has been poking at Teresa all season long, consistently bringing up rumors and allegations surrounding Louie. Flapping her gums. When you decide to tussle with a tiger, you better be prepared to get scratched. Don’t be surprised when the tiger decides to bite your hand or throw a drink on you. 

Teresa- Now this may upset some people, but Teresa Gudice is the face of the New Jersey franchise. She is the show. That’s the fucking truth. Now, was she wrong to throw the glasses and then scream “white trash” and “cunt” through the restaurant? YES! She was wrong. She came into the trip with an attitude and was simmering the whole time at dinner. I don’t support what she did, but I think it’s imperative to remember that it was not an unprovoked attack.  

But, Tre has always had a temper much like her little brother’s. 

The Real Housewives of Miami

I am just watching the reboot of Miami now, because I don’t have Premium Peacock, but the ladies came to work. They came to serve lewks and deep dive into their personal lives. We’re only two episodes in, but I have always loved Marysol and of course Momma Elsa. I am also obsessed with the aspirational aspect. I want to see bitches in mansions, not in casitas.

I love to purge all of my thoughts.
xoxo,

Kelly