My Holiday Survival Essentials - Blogmas Day 20

Hey Babes! 

Today is Sunday December 20, 2020 and that means that Christmas is only 5 days away! Gird your loins, Santa is on his fucking way. If you celebrate Hanukkah, then I apologize for neglecting you during your eight day celebration, but for my fellow gentiles, today I’m sharing the five things you need to survive the holiday season. 

DISCLAIMER - We are still in the midst of a global pandemic and all of our holidays will probably look very different this year. I am in no way encouraging anyone to sip spiked eggnog with 50 relatives. Take my advice and apply it to your situation. 

Acid Reducer 

We all eat like shit during the holidays. Right? Everything is fried or coated in sugar, and that kind of dietary recklessness flares up my acid reflux. I find that a generic Nexium is essential for this time of year.

A Good Hair Tie 

I sweat my balls off during the holiday season. The oven is on, people are invading your space, you’re layered in a thick sweater and the heat is pumping because of the frigid air outside. To avoid looking like a swamp monster, I recommend a cute yet durable hair tie. Maybe even a velvet scrunchie if you’re feeling festive! 

Caffeine 

I arrive to most events or places with my own caffeinated beverage, and truthfully I don’t know what that says about me? Anyway, caffeine is fucking necessary for the holiday season. Stop at Starbucks, order yourself a venti and prepare for battle. 

Joggers 

As the wise Shereé Whitfield once mumbled to Andy Cohen, “joggers”. If you’re menstrual, bloated or intend on having a food baby, wear joggers! You might as well look cute as you tear apart the charcuterie board. Plus, joggers are socially acceptable, because it is 20 fucking 20. 

Tylenol 

I don’t know if Tylenol will cure your hangover, cause homegirl doesn’t really partake in the juice, but it will dull the throbbing pain of a headache caused by forced merriment and quality time on Zoom with distant relatives. Pop that shit and wash it down with a diet coke before you attempt to hide in your room to avoid social interaction. 

That wraps up today’s blog post! I hope you babes take my advice into consideration as you prepare for battle, ugh I’m sorry I mean Christmas. Have a great Sunday! 
xoxo, 

Kelly