Gingerbread House Day - Blogmas Day 12

Hey Babes! 

Happy Saturday and happy Blogmas Day 12! Today also just happens to be... Gingerbread House Day! Now, I don’t like to build gingerbread houses because frankly, I’m not good at it. I don’t enjoy doing shit that I’m not good at, but since I’m a whore for COnTEnT I shlepped my ass to Five Below and got a gingerbread house kit. 

So here is the kit, it was a whopping five bucks and truthfully, you get what you pay for. It came with enough cookies for two houses, shitty icing, a minuscule bag of gumdrops and sprinkles. First, toss the fucking icing out. Put it in the trash where it belongs. I recommend using real icing as your glue. 

My experience didn’t even start out well. I went to cut my cookie pieces and one fucking broke.  Can you imagine? Thankfully, I was able to salvage the wall, I mean I’m not an architect but it stayed together. Then, my piping bag aka Ziploc baggie broke, because I squeezed too hard. There isn’t enough Xanax in the world to make this fun for me. 

After I built my first house with the broken wall, I then constructed my second house. Like most things, I learned from the first time around and my second house was a beauty. Almost too beautiful to exist in this world. The decorations were on point and aesthetically pleasing. I was like a surgeon placing tiny sprinkles onto the thick icing. 

Then, it happened. Like a crescendo of broken dreams and cookie pieces, my house collapsed. After a mild mental breakdown, I then gathered the cookie pieces with what was left of my dignity and attempted to rebuild my house. When your gingerbread house looks like shit, cover it in snow or in this case, flour. 

This experience didn’t build any character, because I’m too old for that. It did however reinforce the fact that I hate building gingerbread houses. Next year, I’m purchasing a pre made house. This shit is for the birds. I did also learn that you should decorate the walls first, before the roof, so you can pipe icing into the crevices. But, that’s all I learned. 

Now, I’m fucking exhausted. 

xoxo, 

Kelly