20 Signs That You're A Basic Bitch (07/31/17)

Hey Babes!

It’s me, Kelly!

Happy Monday my friends! This summer I discovered, “The Bitch Bible”, a hilarious podcast hosted by my Jewish and unapologetically bitchy spirit animal- Jackie fucking Schimmel Haas. While listening to my new fave podcast, I started to wonder if I were a basic bitch or not. So, naturally I have complied a list of 20 things that basic bitches are guilty of doing. If you do at least five of these things, you’ve got some basic bitch tendencies my friend! For the record, EIGHT of these pertain to me. God, I need to be more interesting.

20 Signs You're A Basic Bitch

1. If you wear Old Navy Flip Flops with anything, but especially leggings.... you're a basic bitch.

2. If you actually enjoy drinking pumpkin spice lattes... you're a basic bitch.

3. If you wait in long lines to eat at chain restaurants... you're a basic bitch.

4. If you love Dunkin Donuts coffee... you're a basic bitch.

5. If you regularly brunch...you're a basic bitch.

6. If you purchased a Juicy Couture Tracksuit within the last year...you're a basic bitch.

7. If your perferred brand of candle is Yankee Candle...you're a basic bitch.

8. If you wear workout clothes with no intention of going to a gym...you're a basic bitch.

9. If you still use Victoria Secret body spray... you're a basic bitch.

10. If you take spin classes...you're a basic bitch.

11. If you Facetune your Instagram pictures...you're a basic bitch.

12. If you get French manicures or worse French pedicures...you're a basic bitch.

13. If you have long acrylic nails...you're a basic bitch.

14. If you post selfies and caption it with an inspirational quote...you're a basic bitch.

15. If you reposted the picture of the red bathing suit on Instagram in 2017... you're a basic bitch.

16. If you have a Kylie Lip Kit... you're a basic bitch.

17. If you posted a boomerang or video of fireworks on the 4th of July...you're a basic bitch

18. If you listen to Taylor Swift…you’re a basic bitch.

19. If you live tweet about reality shows like Real Housewives and The Bachelor…you’re a basic bitch

20. If this list offended you…you’re a basic bitch with no sense of humor.

xoxo,

Kelly