World Mental Health Day (10/10/18)

Hey Babes!

Today is Wednesday October 10, 2018 and today is World Mental Health Day. On days like today, mental health advocates spread awareness about mental illness in an attempt to educate the masses and erase the stigma attached to these diseases.

When I was diagnosed with anxiety in 2014, I was ashamed and embarrassed. I made it a huge secret and told little white lies to cover up what was really going on. I refused help from my GP, and spent over six months in a constant state of fear. I couldn’t focus in class, because I would panic at the slightest ache or pain I felt. I felt restless, like I could never relax. I was always jittery, even when I didn’t consume caffeine. I was irritable and would lash out at the people closest to me. Leaving my bed was difficult and I broke down screaming and crying multiple times a week. I really thought that I could handle it on my own.

From the outside looking in, you would have never known. I painted a pretty filtered facade on social media. I was active in my sorority. I laughed and fooled around during cheerleading practice with my stunt group. I excelled in all of my classes, and made dean’s list. I was even inducted into an academic honor society. But, on the inside I was completely falling apart.

Asking for help, doesn’t make you weak. Admitting you have a problem, doesn’t mean you are broken or defective. God, I regret not accepting help when it was offered to me the first time. Those months I spent in denial are hazy and sadly, I accomplished some pretty amazing things during that time. Like, I finished a project for Isaac Mizrahi and I don’t remember it well at all.

I’m not going to sugar coat this shit. Having a mental illness sucks and I wish that I could glide through life without the obsessive worrying, but that’s not how my brain is wired. I wish that tasks like going to a crowded store or starting a new job were not exhausting chores, but they are. To combat this, I take my daily medicine and I set aside the time I need for myself.

Here’s my advice babes, if you have been fighting a silent battle with your mental health, I encourage you to talk to someone! Speak to a professional or a friend that you truly trust. If you suspect that someone you care about is struggling, check in on them, even if they claim that they’re fine. Sometimes, people don’t like to admit that they are struggling. I know I didn’t.

I hope you know that you are not dramatic, oversensitive, weak or a failure. I get it, I used to battle with those emotions constantly and sometimes I still do. But, I’m starting to understand that anxiety is a part of me, it does not define me.

xoxo,
Kelly💕