Kelly Is A Quarantined Mess

Hey Babes! 

Today is my 18th day of quarantine and today we're going to get real about how I'm feeling during this pandemic. 

For the first two weeks of this quarantine, mentally I was fine. I slept in, walked my dog an absurd amount of times, I deep cleaned everything I could get my hands on and I rewatched all of the Harry Potter movies. I am an introvert by nature. I love to hang out with myself and I cancel plans regularly, because my serotonin levels peak when I can lay on the couch with a bag of Hippeas while I watch The Real Housewives of New York. 

The stress of this international crisis did not hit me until Friday, March 27th. Maybe it was due to PMS or maybe I could no longer ignorethe reality and gravity of the situation, but I could not stop crying. Truthfully, this is all very terrifying. While I am young and pretty healthy, I do have asthma, my mom has a compromised immune system and my dad has diabetes and asthma, so technically my whole household is at higher risk for the coronavirus. I never thought twice about going to the grocery store, the products I was bringing into my house or how many people have touched those products before I brought them home. At work I handled people’s money or held their phones without batting an eyelash. I loved to aimlessly walk around Target while sipping on an iced chai, browsing the aisles for things I didn’t need. There are so many aspects of my everyday life, that I have taken for granted. 

Truthfully, staying at home isn't physically demanding but it can be mentally draining. I believe it is more of that feeling of being physically stuck or having no where to go that bothers me the most. I can't work from home, so I have to fill my days with shit to do so my mind stays busy. Cause when she wanders, it’s not good. While I am out of work, I would still consider myself lucky. I have a roof over my head, plenty of food to eat and I am with my favorite people in the world. My role in this pandemic is such an easy one. I stay at home with my family, my dog and we all stay safe. When we do go out for necessary items, we wear our masks and our gloves. We wash our hands, wipe everything down, change our clothes and take our shoes off outside. We take the precautions we can, so we can all stay healthy.

I don't know when this quarantine will end, and truthfully some days it feels like it won't, but it has to. Eventually, our normal lives will resume as will our daily routines. Until then, I will take the time I need for my mental health, laugh because it is better than crying, and bake my family tons of treats, because it soothes me. Living during this uncertain time is scary, but if anything, I hope it teaches people to have compassion, respect and patience for others. I hope you and your loved ones are staying safe and healthy as well. 

Kelly