Haute Mess Rules - Concert Edition

Hey Babes! 

I have been a fan of the Jonas Brothers since the year 2007. Some things have changed over the last fourteen years and even though I no longer spritz myself with Love Spell or exclusively wear blue and white striped Hollister & Co tanks, I still love Kevin, Nick and Joe. So, when tickets for the Jonas Brothers - Remember This Tour went on sale, my cousin Taylor and I jumped at the chance. 

My initial thought was to do a photo diary from the concert, but as they say, “when you make plans, God laughs.” Well, I hope He got a good chuckle, because I was sat behind a row of Sequoia trees. This unfortunate event got me thinking of a few rules I’d like to implement for all concerts going forward as well as a couple of recommendations. 

NEW CONCERT RULES

If you’re not enjoying an alcoholic beverage, I recommend getting a souvenir soda cup, you know the one that comes with the free refills? Okay, so here’s what to do, fill it up once for the show and then again after the concert to quench your thirst from hours of screaming and singing. You’re Welcome. 

If you are 6 feet tall or in that neighborhood, you are not allowed to sway your long tree like limbs in the air during a concert. Keep that shit low. I can’t see over you, stretch. I’ll allow you like three songs to go crazy, then I’d like to see the fucking artist I came for. 

Yelling at Nick Jonas or anyone really to “c*m on my chest” is funny the first time it’s screamed. After that, it’s done. Have your moment and shhh. Also, that’s my fucking husband, so watch your mouth.

Spending hours getting ready for a concert is out. I’m not doing the whole dress in a cute outfit, hair and makeup thing anymore, because it lasts for one pre show photo and then I turn into a swamp monster who is sweaty and sticky with frizzy hair. Next concert I go to, I’m wearing bike shorts, an oversized tee and a ponytail.

No more concert proposals. Dear future husband, don’t propose to me at a concert, especially a Jonas Brothers concert. It’s been over done and I will always love Nick Jonas more than I’ll love you. Harsh? Maybe. Untrue? No.

If you’re standing in the front row of the pit, get off of your phone! No texting! Are you kidding? I would have loved to have seen the sweat dripping off of the brothers instead of the back of Stretch Armstrong’s head! If you’re texting, your seat is getting revoked!

Ah, it feels good to purge your feelings. It’s good for the soul. Talking shit is good for the soul. I feel so much better now. But, I also had so much fun and I’ll take any opportunity to see Nick Jonas in person.

xoxo,

Kelly