I’m Not Like Other Girls

Hey Babes! 

If you know me, then you know that I’m NoT LiKE OthER GiRLS. I have opinions about everything and today I’m sharing a few of my negative feelings about products that everyone seems to fucking love or at least pretend to like. Since, I’m just so quirky and unique, I’m sharing my disdain for the following mainstream shit. 

Natural Deodorant

I understand that aluminum is bad for me, but natural deodorant sucks ass and you’re a liar or a freak of nature if you say that your armpits don’t feel sticky after using that product! I’ll take the chemicals on this one, thanks.

Sparkling Water

Ick! I love soda, so you’d think that I would die for a La Croix or a Bubly, but I think they’re fucking disgusting. Baby doesn’t fuck with a frizzante water. Give me cold filtered tap water or nothing at all. 

Acrylic Nails

I used to wear thick square french tip acrylic nails when I was 14 years old and I’m scarred for life now. Maybe it’s because I’m so weird and not like other girls, or maybe it’s because I’m just not a bad bitch but I can not function with them! I’ll take a regular gel mani please.

Perfume

I have the nose of a bloodhound and I HATE perfume. It makes me feel like a cheap whore. It doesn’t mix well with my pheromones or whatever but I have never used a perfume that smells as good on me, as it did in the bottle. It also just makes me feel sick. 

Almond Milk

You bitches actually enjoy this shit? Like do you actually prefer it to cow’s milk or is because it’s allegedly better for you? Real talk, I have to know. Inquiring minds are wondering. Hard mother fucking pass on that one. No thank you. 

Ah, what a purge. Talking shit just makes you feel better, I swear! Side note, I am exactly like every other girl and if you didn’t know that I was kidding, get it together girlfriend. LYLAS! 

xoxo,
Kelly