My Real Housewives Tagline

Hey Babes! 

I am a Real Housewives aficionado and thanks to Hulu, I've been re watching franchises from the very beginning. My binging habits got me thinking; if and when I become a Real Housewife, what would my tagline be? Here is what I have got so far... 

I may be a Taurus, but I won't take your bull. 

It's my world and you're all just living in it. 

I'm an only child, I always get my way. 

Learn to drive? Ugh, as if! 

My mom didn't raise no fool, just a bitch. 

I make my own rules, but I never make dinner. 

I may be fueled by Lexapro, but I'll still slap a hoe. 

I don't bark, but I will bite. 

I won't come to your party, but I expect an invitation. 

Happy people don't shoot their husbands, that's why I don't have one. 

I may be a mess, but I'm still haute. 

I fear no bitch, expect for my mom. 

I’m pretty cool, but I cry a lot. 

If you're gonna test my waters, you better know how to swim. 

I'm a writer girl, you know I'll use my vocabulary. 

Those are the ones I have so far, you know for my rookie season! 

Hey Andy, I'm available. 

xoxo, 

Kelly